Someone just died. Where do I start?

Open Door 1. It shows three cards: the First 24 Hours checklist, the First Talk card for your child's age, and The Real Words. That's all for today. Everything else can wait.

What ages is this for?

3 to 12. Every First Talk script comes in three versions: 3-5, 6-8 and 9-12. Every question card has a shorter line for ages 3-5. It isn't written for teenagers.

Isn't my child too young to understand?

Young children grieve too. They just need fewer, simpler words. The 3-5 scripts are short and plain: “Grandpa died. Died means his body stopped working. He can't come back.”

Is any of it graphic or scary?

No. The cards say what happened in plain words, with no details of how. The goal is a calm, true answer your child can hold.

Nobody has died. Is it too early?

No. Door 3 is for that. Start with The Real Words and The 4 Truths. Then use a Before You Need It card the next time a bug, a leaf or a movie gives you a chance. You don't have to wait for a loss.

We have our own faith. Or we're not religious. Will it fit?

Yes. The cards start with what happens to the body. Then there's a line for your family: “In our family, we believe ___.” There are words for faith and no faith, and a card for when grown-ups believe different things.

What if it was suicide, an overdose or violence?

There's a First Talk card for each age that says the truth gently. No details of how. Always “it was not your fault”. A question card answers “Why did he do it?” without blame. If you need help with this talk, a child grief counselor can sit with you while you have it. If you're struggling yourself, in the US you can call or text 988, any time.

Yes. There are First Talk scripts for a pet at every age, and a card for “Can we get a new dog?” The Pet Goodbye Pack adds the vet visit and the hardest decision. It's optional at checkout.

My child is autistic or learns differently.

There's a card for that: the most concrete words, the same answer every time, and what can help on the day. It comes with an 8-page picture story to read together, as often as they want.

Does this replace a grief counselor?

No. It's the parent half: the words you say at home. It isn't therapy. A card called When to Get Extra Help lists what's normal, what to watch, and when to call your pediatrician or a child grief counselor.

It's digital. After checkout you get a sign-in link by email. Open it on your phone, and print the pages at home if you like.

Can I send it to someone who's grieving?

Yes. Tick “This is a gift” at checkout and add their first name and email. Trailies emails them their own sign-in link, not you. The email comes from Trailies, so you may want to let them know it's coming. A gift is checked out on its own.

What if it isn't right for us?

Reply to your receipt within 90 days and we'll refund you. Nothing to send back. Your app access ends when the refund goes through.

ShopThe Goodbye Talk

The Goodbye Talk cover card with three real cards fanned behind it

The Goodbye TalkWhat to say when someone dies. Word for word, by age.

Name: The Goodbye Talk
Brand: Trailies
SKU: goodbye-talk
Price: 39.00 USD
Availability: InStock
Rating: 4.87 (119 reviews)

4.9119 reviews

Someone died, or someone is very sick, and your child is looking at you. This gives you the exact words for their age, with their person's name in them. Start with the one door you need tonight. Then just read the card.

87 cards + 3 printables
Ages 3-12
Your names in every card
With or without faith

$39, yours to keep.

One payment. The first talk, the funeral, the questions and the first year.

Get The Goodbye Talk Send it as a gift

Buying for someone who's grieving? Tick “This is a gift” at checkout. Trailies emails them their own sign-in link.

Secure checkout · Apple Pay, Google Pay & card

Not right for your family? We refund it within 90 days.

In the app tonight, plus pages to print
3 Doors: start with only what you need
First Talk scripts for ages 3-5, 6-8 and 9-12
After an illness, suddenly, a pet, or hard to explain
Search by what they just asked
Your names in every card, in the app

See the questions parents ask, and the card for each

See what's on the cards

Nobody hands you the words for this

Someone died, and now you have to tell your child. Or someone is very sick, and the questions have started. Your own heart is breaking, and you still have to find the words. Most of us grew up with “she's sleeping” or “we lost Grandpa.” Nobody showed us another way.

The soft words feel kinder. To a young child they are a puzzle. “Sleeping” can make bedtime scary. “Lost” means we should go and look. “He's in your heart” can leave a child asking how to get him out. Kids fill the gaps alone, and what they imagine is often scarier than the truth.

You don't need to read a book first, or sound calm. You need one true sentence for their age, with their person's name in it. Then the answer to the next question, and the one after that. Searching online at 2am gives you tips. This gives you the words.

A mother kneeling at her child's height, holding both of the child's hands

Questions parents ask

Questions parents ask, and the card that answers each

A child was told “He's in your heart.” Then: “How do I get him out?”
The card: Say This, Not That
“Your love for him and your memories of him stay with you forever.”
“When you're better, can you come back down?”
The card: It Can't Be Undone
“When someone dies, they can't come back to life. Not tomorrow, not when they feel better, not if we wish really hard.”
He knows he's been sick and got better. So what happened to Daddy?
The card: The First Talk: After an Illness, ages 3-5
“You know Daddy was very, very sick. Not the kind of sick you get, like a cold or a tummy ache. A much bigger kind.”
I was always told to not say sick, because they could be scared every time they get sick they will also die. Do you find that to be the case?
The card: Will I Get Sick and Die Too?
“No. The sickness Grandpa had was a very serious kind, and it's very rare. When you get a cold or a tummy bug, your body fights it and gets better, every time.”
When does it get easier to handle?
The card: You're Grieving Too
“Your child doesn't need a perfect, calm parent. They need an honest one.”

What you get

Here is what you actually get

The 3 Doors: someone just died, someone is very sick, or prepare now. Open yours and see only what you need tonight.
The First Talk: word-for-word scripts for ages 3-5, 6-8 and 9-12. After an illness, a sudden death, a pet, and the deaths that are hard to explain.
The Real Words: why “died” is the kindest word, plus a 16-row Say This, Not That table for the soft phrases kids take literally.
The 4 Truths, each with a 2-minute activity, like the Leaf Test and the Wish Test.
What They'll Ask: 24 real questions with answers, from “Is it my fault?” to “Is Grandpa cold?”
The first months: Goodbye Day cards for the funeral, Keep Them Close rituals, and Hard Days cards for birthdays, the anniversary and the holidays.
Grown-ups Around Them: a school email to copy and send, a note for family and sitters, and a card for you, because you're grieving too.
Every Child: concrete words for autistic children and children who learn differently, plus an 8-page picture story.

A mother and her young son on the sofa, reading The Real Words card together on her phone

A girl filling in My Memory Page at the kitchen table while her dad watches, with the 4 Truths poster on the fridge

Get The Goodbye Talk · $39

Straight from the deck

What's actually on the cards

87 cards, sorted by door, by age and by question. These are three real cards, word for word, with Grandpa's name filled in. Tap to see the back.

For the questions that come later

The questions keep coming. The cards are ready.

Kids ask the same thing many times, and new questions come weeks later. There's a card for each one, with the words to say.

A small child tugging on a parent's sleeve in a hallway, looking up with a hopeful face — “Is Grandpa still dead?”
The question they'll ask again and again.

A worried child hugging their knees on the stairs, with a parent one step below, turned toward them — “Is it my fault?”
Say “no” clearly, even if they never ask.

A child on a parent's lap, wrapped together in one big blanket on a sofa, looking out a rainy window — “Is he cold?”
The worry many kids never say out loud.

A child holding a parent's hand and a single sunflower outside a bright doorway — “Can I go to the funeral?”
Invite them. Never force them.

A curious child squatting on a sunny garden path, looking at a small still beetle, with a parent beside them — A bug on the path
A dead bug or bird is a perfect first lesson.

A Thanksgiving table seen from above, with a small handwritten remembering Grandpa card by one plate — The first Thanksgiving
The empty chair, and what to do about it.

A child gently touching an old dog's framed photo next to its collar, with a parent sitting beside them — “Can we get a new dog?”
A new pet is welcome. A replacement isn't.

A child with a backpack walking through a school gate holding a parent's hand, a teacher waving — Back to school
A plan for wobbly moments.

Plain words are the gentle ones

When someone dies, we reach for soft words. Sleeping, lost, gone, passed. They feel kinder to us. But young children take words literally, so a soft word turns into a puzzle. They keep trying to solve it, often alone.

So the First Talk cards start with the real words: “Grandpa died. Died means his body stopped working.” Then “He can't come back.” Then the 4 Truths, said simply. It can't be undone. The body stops working. Everything alive dies someday. Nothing you did made it happen.

Then you give the same answer each time they ask. Kids ask “Is Grandpa still dead?” again and again. That doesn't mean your first answer didn't work. It means it's working.

The cards are written to follow published guidance on grieving children. The sources are listed in the product.

“Read it out loud. Your own warm voice is perfect.” It’s printed on every First Talk card. You don’t need to sound like an expert.

How it works

Ready in a few minutes

Pick your door

Someone just died, someone is very sick, or prepare now. You see only the cards for where you are.

Add their name

Type the name your child uses, like Grandma or Biscuit. Every card fills it in.

Read the card for their age

Pick 3-5, 6-8 or 9-12, then read the words in quotes. Your own voice is enough.

What you'll need, and when

From the first talk to the first year

Tonight

Three cards, nothing else

Door 1 opens the First 24 Hours checklist, the First Talk card for their age, and The Real Words. That's all for today. Everything else can wait.

The first weeks

One question at a time

Type what they just asked, like “cold” or “my fault”, and the matching card comes up. The Goodbye Day cards help with the funeral, or another way to say goodbye.

The first year

The hard days, planned ahead

Hard Days cards for their birthday, the anniversary, Thanksgiving, the winter holidays, Mother's and Father's Day and back to school. Each one has a plan, the words and one small ritual.

Start with tonight's three cards · $39

The people behind it

Made by Trailies

Trailies makes word-for-word Talks for the conversations parents dread. The exact words, by age, ready in a few minutes.

DebbieCo-founder, former SEL educator

I spent years watching good parents freeze at the exact moment their kid needed words. So we wrote the words down.

JonahFounder

Nobody handed my parents the words for the hard talks. We write them down.

Written to follow published guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Dougy Center, the Coalition to Support Grieving Students and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. These groups did not create or endorse it. The sources are listed in the product.

The honest comparison

How it compares

How The Goodbye Talk compares to a picture book, searching online, and waiting until they ask.

How The Goodbye Talk compares to a picture book, searching online, and waiting until they ask.
	The Goodbye Talk	A picture book	Searching online at 2am	Waiting until they ask
Words written for you to say out loud		A story to read together	Tips on what to do	Found on the spot
Changes with their age (3-5, 6-8, 9-12)		One age, one story	Hard to tell what fits	Hit or miss
Uses the real word, “died”		Often a metaphor	Mixed	Soft words slip in
Words for how they died, including the hard ones		Usually one kind of loss	Rarely in one place	Hard to find words
Says what kids don't ask out loud, like “Is it my fault?”		Sometimes	If you know to look	They may never ask
Help for the hard days in the first year		Ends at the last page	One search at a time	Each one comes as a surprise
What it costs	$39	One story, one kind of loss	Free, but scattered	Free

Words written for you to say out loud
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
A story to read together
Online:
Tips on what to do
Waiting:
Found on the spot
Changes with their age (3-5, 6-8, 9-12)
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
One age, one story
Online:
Hard to tell what fits
Waiting:
Hit or miss
Uses the real word, “died”
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
Often a metaphor
Online:
Mixed
Waiting:
Soft words slip in
Words for how they died, including the hard ones
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
Usually one kind of loss
Online:
Rarely in one place
Waiting:
Hard to find words
Says what kids don't ask out loud, like “Is it my fault?”
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
Sometimes
Online:
If you know to look
Waiting:
They may never ask
Help for the hard days in the first year
The Goodbye Talk
Book:
Ends at the last page
Online:
One search at a time
Waiting:
Each one comes as a surprise
What it costs
$39The Goodbye Talk
Book:
One story, one kind of loss
Online:
Free, but scattered
Waiting:
Free

What parents are saying

4.9 out of 5 from 119 reviews

From parents who used The Goodbye Talk

51075 stars: 107 reviews
4104 stars: 10 reviews
303 stars: 0 reviews
222 stars: 2 reviews
101 star: 0 reviews

Showing 6 of 119 reviews

5 out of 5 stars
I bought this at 2am the night my dad died because I had no idea what to tell my 4 year old in the morning. Door 1 literally showed me 3 cards and nothing else, which is about all my brain could hold. Read the first talk card to her at breakfast. I got through it. She got through it. I don't know what I would've said without it.
Heather M
Verified Buyer
Mom of a 4-year-old · lost her dad in the spring
5 out of 5 stars
I'm not a crier. My son asked me 'how do I get him out' after grandma's funeral because everyone told him she was 'in his heart now.' This deck has a card for that exact question. I had to pull over. Five stars.
Marcus D
Verified Buyer
Dad of 3 · their grandma died in January
5 out of 5 stars
cried at 6am. used the first talk card at 7. my kid is okay and so am i, kinda. 5 stars
Kayla R
Verified Buyer
Mom of a 5-year-old · lost her mom suddenly
5 out of 5 stars
My husband died by suicide and our daughter is 2 and a half. I was going to just... not explain, until she was older. The hard-to-explain cards gave me true words that a toddler can hold without the parts she doesn't need. It says died by suicide, not the other phrase. I didn't have to make up a car accident she'd find out about later. That alone.
Renee T
Verified Buyer
Widow · mom of a 2-year-old
5 out of 5 stars
Our lab Duke was 13. Everybody told the kids he 'went to sleep at the vet' and my youngest wouldn't go to bed for a week. There's a whole card on why we don't say that. Added the pet pack at checkout too. Should've cost more honestly.
Gary L
Verified Buyer
Dad of 2 · lost their dog in the fall
5 out of 5 stars
My mom was cremated and my 6 year old asked what that meant. I would have said fire. The card says 'a very hot room' and that it doesn't hurt because the body can't feel anything. He asked one more question and then went back to his dinosaurs. That's how it should go.
Colleen B
Verified Buyer
Mom of a 6-year-old · lost her mom in the summer

Questions

Everything you might be wondering

Everything you get today

The Goodbye Talk

Start Here: the 3 Doors, so you only see what you need tonight
87 cards: The Real Words (2), The First Talk (15), The 4 Truths (4), Big Feelings (5), What They'll Ask (24), Before You Need It (6), Goodbye Day (4), Keep Them Close (12), Hard Days (8), Grown-ups Around Them (5) and Every Child (2)
3 printables: the 4 Truths poster, My Memory Page, and Sources and How This Was Made
Your names in every card in the app, and First Talk scripts for ages 3-5, 6-8 and 9-12
In the app on your phone, with search, plus pages to print at home

$39· 90-day money-back guarantee

Get The Goodbye Talk

If it isn't right for your family

Use it for up to 90 days. If it isn't right for your family, reply to your receipt and we'll refund you. No forms. Nothing to send back.

Get The Goodbye Talk · $39

For someone who's grieving

Send it as a gift

A friend's dad died. Your sister's dog died last week. You can send The Goodbye Talk straight to them. Tick “This is a gift” at checkout and add their first name and email. Trailies emails them their own sign-in link, not you, so you may want to tell them it's coming.

Send it as a gift · $39

If it fits your family

Optional. You can add either one at checkout. Each one sits next to The Goodbye Talk in the app.

The Pet Goodbye Pack

+$12 at checkout

The vet visit, the hardest decision, and the words for after. 12 cards, including whether your child should be there.

When Someone Is Dying

+$17 at checkout

If someone you love is very sick right now: what to tell your child, what visits are like, and how to say goodbye. 14 cards.

The Goodbye TalkWhat to say when someone dies. Word for word, by age.

Nobody hands you the words for this

Questions parents ask, and the card that answers each

A child was told “He's in your heart.” Then: “How do I get him out?”

“When you're better, can you come back down?”

He knows he's been sick and got better. So what happened to Daddy?

I was always told to not say sick, because they could be scared every time they get sick they will also die. Do you find that to be the case?

When does it get easier to handle?